5-Feet On A Good Day

Lifestyle of the Vertically Challenged

Umbrella Attack!

on February 26, 2012

I may not look so threatening, but on a rainy day, I AM A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH!

FOR I CARRY A VERY DANGEROUS WEAPON…

THE UMBRELLA!

But seriously.

If it is raining and I am walking down the street with an umbrella, I’d suggest stepping out of my way.

For your own sake.

I’ve found that when I carry an umbrella, I’m on a subconscious mission to destroy everyone that I pass.

Because I am short, I carry my umbrella pretty low.

And my umbrella level seems to be at the same level as throats, eyes, and heads.

So anyone that is unfortunate enough to walk past me on a rainy day, usually gets poked at one of these levels.

I swear I don’t do it on purpose. In fact, I try to be kind and move my umbrella away or I walk as far away from people as possible, but when I am on a busy sidewalk like those in Manhattan…

Someone is going down. (Cough cough *the couple making out in the middle* cough)

I CAN’T HELP IT… I’M LITTLE!!!!

If I ever do serious damage, I always apologize so people don’t really think I was out to get them.

But man, life is hard on those rainy days for myself and all those that step within a 2 foot radius around me.

I could just look like a tool and wear a plastic poncho, but then well…I’d look like a tool.

Or I could just rely on hooded jackets or sweatshirts, but those can only do so much.

Or I could carry a special WARNING umbrella like this one…

Or I could move some place where it hardly rains. Like a desert?

Or I could just hang out with Rihanna? I hear she likes to share her umbrellas.

Or everyone can just kindly stay out of my way to avoid potential injury.

 

(If you want more from me, check out my new blog about my review of places I go in NYC http://heyivebeentherenyc.wordpress.com/)

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