5-Feet On A Good Day

Lifestyle of the Vertically Challenged

Mission: Meet Katy Perry’s Boobs

on April 29, 2012

I am obsessed with Katy Perry.


She is my vision of perfection.

She’s stunning.

She’s talented.

She is beyond sexy.

She has a perfect body.

She is just sex.

I am not a lesbian. I am straight, I assure you. But Katy Perry is definitely my girl crush.

I want to be her.

I try.

However, I have to accept the fact that I will never be her.

Because well, first of all, she’s 5’9.

I am not going to be growing another 9 inches any time soon…or ever.

I will never have those legs.

So you may be wondering what in the world my height may have to do with this sex goddess.


Wait, what?

Like everything else about her, Katy Perry’s boobs are just perfect.

I also want them.

But the idea of plastic surgery scares the crap out of me and her ginormous knockers would look ridiculous on my 5 foot frame. My body is just not proportionate enough to handle Katy Perry’s boobies.

But I would like to meet Katy Perry’s boobs.

Heck, I just want to meet Katy, but of course her boobs would be there too.

And I probably wouldn’t be able to stop staring.

Because her boobs would be at my eye level.

I don’t have too many super tall friends. Not quite sure how this happened, but we’ll save that for another day.

However, in my experience, when I am with really tall female friends… hugs are really awkward.

When I hug a female who is probably 5’7 or above, their boobs become pillows for my face.

I’m sure plenty of tall girls have had a short person’s face in their chest.

I don’t have this problem.

I’m the one whose face lands in people’s boobs.

But if they were Katy Perry’s boobs…I would NOT mind.

I have a major bucket list item. I would like to meet Katy Perry…and give her a hug…and if my face happens to fall upon her amazing bosom(and of course it will), it will just be an honest mistake of course.

This might be my purpose!

This may be the reason why I was created as a short person!

So that when I meet Miss. Perry, I will also get to come up close and personal with her beautiful boobies.

It’s going to happen.

And it’s going to be glorious.


One response to “Mission: Meet Katy Perry’s Boobs

  1. David says:

    Awesome this is just an awessome piece! I 2 am a vertically challenged individual except I am male. I luv Katy Perry & if I ever got 2 meet her & give her a hug I wish my face would b in her boobs, u lucky girl (if this does happen 2 u)! But I am 4 in. taller at 5′ 4″ not a great height for a guy let me tell u! I can’t have or even approach a girl I would luv 2 get w/ not at this height & u know how many girls that r as big & beautiful as Katy!! 2 many even girls smaller than Katy like 5′ 7″ anything over 5’5″ for me isn’t much of a shot. I digress luv ur piece & good luck w/ ur bucket list

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