5-Feet On A Good Day

Lifestyle of the Vertically Challenged

Bieber Height

I’m not a fan of Justin Bieber.

But I got to give it to him…

That kid is famous.

I recently heard that he’s the most searched topic on Bing, and I figure he’s pretty high up there on Google and other search engines, so this post is purely for SEO purposes because a simple tag of J Biebs will bring traffic to my blog haha

So I did a bit of Googling myself and to go with the theme of my blog, I decided to look up how tall Justin Bieber is.

Several sources said that Justin Bieber is 5’5, which is pretty short for a questionable male.

But he’s only 17 years old. If he eats his veggies and drinks a glass of milk every day for the next few years, he’ll probably outgrow the short category.

Never say never.

 

I apologize to those Justin Bieber fanatics who were hoping to read a Bieber Fever post, but I hope you enjoy my blog anyway =]

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A Mirror Inconvenience

Mirrors are a great tool in our every day lives. For many of us, they’re one of the first tools we turn to soon after waking up and rolling out of bed so we can fix ourselves before we let the world see our true bed-headed, makeup-smeared beauty.

It’s our guide to whether or not we think we look decent on a certain day with a certain hair style or outfit choice, or whether we should just wear a sweatshirt and a hat to hide ourselves or just spare everyone and crawl back into bed and not face the world.

For those who actually make it to the gym on the regular, it serves as every meathead’s dream as they flex those pecs and LMFAO’s “Sexy and I Know it” plays in their head, or even iPod, as they stare at what they think is a masterpiece.

*cough* toolbags *cough*

 

Anywho…mirrors are pretty useful.

However I discovered a minor mirror issue the other day when I was out with my friends at a bar/restaurant in Hell’s Kitchen.

Now I don’t know how tall they think the average person is when they chose the mirror placement in their bathroom, but it did not work for me. I couldn’t even see the top of my hair. Yet I couldn’t resist the urge to know if my eyeliner was streaked across my face and if my hair was starting to get frizzy after straightening it hours before.

I had no other choice but to jump up and down just so that I could catch a glimpse of myself every other millisecond.

I don’t know about you, but in my opinion, looking in a mirror shouldn’t be a workout in itself.

I should write a letter and complain. I mean isn’t that some form of discrimination? Against short people? All the taller people are allowed to look decent while the shorties have to go about their night as a self-conscious hot mess?

Absurd!

Maybe I’d at least get a free meal or drink out of it.

Or maybe I just have to remember that I usually carry a pocket mirror in my bag to avoid such issues.

However public mirrors aren’t my only issue.

Even my mirrors at home cause me problems.

I love to get ready in my bathroom, which has 2 main mirrors, but they only show from shoulder level and up. One has a sink in front of it and one has a counter in front of it, so i’m always about a good 2 feet away from these mirrors, which does nothing to help me when I’m trying to put on liquid eyeliner.

Putting on liquid eyeliner is quite the challenge, because if you mess up just a tiny bit, you pretty much have to start all over again to try to get it perfect or you’re stuck with black goo rolling around your eyeball.

In order for me to get close enough to the mirror, I have to stand on the side of my sink and lean my head to my left so that I can actually see the mirror. Ridiculous.

Once I’ve got my makeup right, I like to check out what I’m wearing to make sure it’s okay before I leave. But since the mirrors only show from my shoulders up, I have to find another way around this.

Yup…I stand on the toilet.

Needless to say, when I have access to a full length mirror, I am a happy short girl.

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Keeping my options open…

I need a job.

Really badly.

I’ve been unemployed since my lifeguard job ended on labor day and the only job I’ve had since then is a position as a full-time job searcher. Too bad I’m self-employed and it doesn’t pay.

I’m considering going down to Occupy Wall St soon.

Not because I’m mad at how  the business people on Wall St. are rich and I’m poor.

Not because I want to exercise my First Amendment right to peacefully protest. I’m perfectly fine with using my freedom of speech and press right here from the comforts of my own room.

Not because I have an interest in camping outside for two months with strangers as they sit in their own filth, being mad at the world.

I’d go down there just as an excuse to leave my house at this point.

I am borderline desperate with this whole job search thing. It is my life. I wake up and immediately check the job boards and refresh them throughout the day. I prepare cover letters. I tweak my resume for specific jobs. It is all I can think about.

And yet, here I am…still unemployed.

I need to DO something!

Ideally, I’d love to work at a job where I can practice my journalism or writing skills. I’ve definitely applied to jobs relating to that, however I’ve also been applying to minimum wage jobs where my resume is probably among a pile of resume’s from high school kids.

As my summer lifeguard money quickly diminishes, I’m realizing that I need some sort of income rather soon if I want to continue to have money so that I can have some sort of social life or enjoyment.

Whoever said “Money doesn’t buy happiness,” has clearly mastered the art of being completely happy while sitting by themselves, fiddling with their thumbs. I think I’ve also seen those people in the psychiatric wards of hospitals.

I’ve been sitting by myself, with nothing to do, and completely going out of my mind. Not happy.

I have things I’d love to do! Sign up for the gym again, travel, go out to dinner, start saving up for my life…

But I can’t do these things unless I have the means to pay for them and at this point, it’s just not happening.

With all this said, I’ve been looking at all types of jobs. Some jobs, I back away from because I realize that they wouldn’t be realistic for me, given my height.

But then I got to thinking about jobs that would be directly related to my height.

And then I noticed on Twitter and Facebook, that the movie “Elf” must have been on TV because everyone and their mom was watching it.

Aha! I CAN BE AN ELF!

“Katie the elf, what’s your favorite color?

Will Ferrell was immediately thought be a store elf at Gimbel’s and that guy is huge! Well, he was wearing the full elf garb already, but whatever.

I am almost perfect elf size!

The pointy shoes, the pointy ears, the obnoxious red and green material surrounding my body, the rosy cheeks, the exaggerated smiling, the cheerful demeanor despite dealing with screaming children all day…

Yeah! I could do it! I mean it’d only be for a month or so. It’d be bearable.

I immediately went to the most reliable sketchy job search source on the net(Craigslist) and I typed in “elf” in the job search.

Spontaneous dream crushed.

Nothing! Well, next to nothing. I did find a listing to be a mall elf in New Jersey, but I haven’t quite mastered driving long distances yet, so it wasn’t much of an option and the post has already been removed at this point.

So I did a little more research and found that Macy’s has something called “Santaland,” where they apparently employ elves and santas, but I couldn’t find any jobs available =[

Either I’m too late and I missed the elf recruitment period, or I’m too early and they haven’t started hiring yet, but being that Thanksgiving is right around the corner, I figure that they already have their elf and santa staff ready to go for Black Friday.

I guess there’s always next year…

But hopefully by that time, I won’t need a job as an elf.

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Bodyguards come for free

I was in a situation a while back where I was in a place where there was someone that I didn’t really want to encounter.

I was a bit nervous that this person would see me.

But then I realized that I have a bodyguard.

In fact, that night, I learned that everyone is my bodyguard.

Due to my height, I discovered that I could avoid this person by simply standing behind ANYONE.

Well, I mean, I was fortunate enough to be surrounded by my 6 ft tall brother and his friends, but that’s besides the point.

When my brother and his friend’s moved, I could hide behind smaller people, because they were still bigger than me.

This plan worked for quite a while. But eventually it failed because apparently it isn’t hard to recognize a body part of a short person sticking out from behind a taller human shield. Seeing a shoulder out of your friend’s rib cage is a bit weird and deserves a double take and then the light bulb goes off in the creeper’s head. I seeeee youuuuu. Great.

So I was eventually spotted, but given the circumstances, it was bound to happen and by that point, I had drank enough beers to not really care anymore.

But with this, I came to learn that if there ever was a situation where I really needed a bodyguard, like if I ever become a ukulele playing rockstar one day, then I won’t have to shell out that extra cash to pay for my own personal protector. I can simply grab the tallest person next to me.

Or maybe I’d make a decent spy.

…Oh the possibilities.

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Trick or treat?

Halloween is a great holiday. I’d rank it as one of my favorite holidays actually.

But as I’ve gotten older, Halloween has changed quite a bit. There are still costumes to wear. There are still jack-o-lanterns to carve. There are still haunted houses.

But trick-or-treating has faded out as a part of my Halloween celebration.

Because i’m “too old” to go trick-or-treating.

Well damnit! Who made up those rules anyway?

Oh yeah, I guess all the people who opened their doors to a 17 year old trick-or-treater, 5 years ago, and said…

“Aren’t you a little old to be trick or treating?”

How embarrassing.

My years of trick-or-treating suddenly came to an end.

I was “too old.”

But, at 22 years old, I still get that itch to go around the strangers houses and ask for candy that you trust to not be poisoned or contain razor blades (Who decided this was a good idea originally?).

I know, I know. I might be “too old,” but I’ve realized that I am NOT too tall.

If I really seriously wanted to go trick-or-treating at 22, I could pull it off.

I thought back to costumes that I wore in my childhood and I remembered my “Scream” costume.

You know, the black robe with the white, elongated ghost face?

Like this?

Back when this costume was popular and I felt like being a creep that year, I jumped on the Scream bang-wagon and wore this.

If I were to wear this today, I could totally pass for a pre-teen boy. The people handing out candy would have no idea that I’m “too old” to be taking their treats, because they’d just see me as a 5 foot middle schooler. They don’t have to know that I graduated college.

In fact, any costume that provides complete coverage such as this one would do.

Don’t you tell me I’m “too old” to go trick-or-treating!

If I want to bring home two 10lb bags of processed sugar, I sure can and you can’t stop me!

However, being that my metabolism sucks and my need to survive on sugar died when my trick-or-treating age limit was reached, I’ll leave the candy to the kids.

(I’m also too lazy to dig through my closet to try to find my scream costume.)

So enjoy kiddies! Have a safe and sound trick-or-treating experience and have a Reese’s peanutbutter cup for me.

Maybe I’ll resume my trick-or-treating if I ever have kids of my own.

Happy Halloween everyone.

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No need for legroom

On Wednesday, I was lucky enough to go to the Ed Sullivan theater to see Foster the People perform with tickets that I won on a twitter contest.

Knowing that my roommate likes them, I invited her along.

The concert was pretty awesome. Although I only really know Foster the People’s  main song, “Pumped Up Kicks,” I had a good time.

My roommate enjoyed herself as well, except she had a minor problem.

The theater was packed tight and the seats were close together, so she couldn’t sit comfortably because her legs were too long and her knees hit the seat in front of her.

My roommate, who is probably only 3 inches taller than me, was sitting completely back in her chair when I took this picture.

Being that I am a shorty, and my legs are short, I didn’t have this problem.

My knees were a good 3 inches away from the seat in front of me, so I could sit comfortably.

Had I been 3 inches taller, like my roommate, I may have been bruising my kneecaps along with her.

For my roommate, it was only a minor problem because we wound up standing during most of the songs anyway.

It just made me realize that short legs are one of the perks of being a short person sometimes.

It also made me think about similar situations, like riding on planes, which are notorious for being cramped and providing limited leg room and airlines that charge ridiculous fees for a bit of extra leg room. This is something that I don’t need to be too concerned about because I just don’t have a whole lot of leg that would need that extra leg room.

I’m also a good person to sit in front of in a car or bus for when people want to lounge and push their chairs back. Lounge away friends, I’ve got all the room I need =]

 

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Cruisin For a Few Inches

I came across a post on PerezHilton.com about Tom Cruise and his upcoming role as Jack Reacher in the film One Shot, based on a book series by Lee Child.

Apparently Cruise has been facing a bit of criticism for being chosen for the role because the character of Jack Reacher is described as 6’5 and Cruise is only around 5’7.

And he is offended.

I never really thought that an actor as famous as Tom Cruise would have insecurities, especially over his height, but after doing more research, I realized that it really bugs him.

When recently asked about the issue of fans thinking that Cruise isn’t fit for the role because of height, he started off saying “Firstly, I’m very sensitive to it.”

I  looked a bit deeper and found that Tom Cruise really does have issues with his height even though he was the star of huge movies like Mission Impossible, Jerry Maguire, Top Gun, Risky Business, and many others.

I would think that a man with such success would feel a bit better about himself, especially when all of his  gorgeous romantic interests, such as Nicole Kidman, Penelope Cruz, and Katie Holmes, have all been taller than him.  It’s easy to think that a shorter guy that chooses to be involved with women that are obviously taller than him, is quite comfortable with his height.

But when looking through pictures, it’s quite the opposite.

Tom Cruise is often in the spotlight, so when he has been out with his lovers, he is very aware of his height and how the media might react to it. He does what he can to work around it.

While he was with Nicole Kidman, she would always wear flats during public appearances with Cruise. When their relationship ended, she said “I can finally wear heals again.”

Katie Holmes wouldn’t dare give up her heals, so Cruise has tried to find ways around his shortness while next to his current wife.

There has been suspicions that he sometimes wears height insoles in his shoes because with Katie Holmes being 5’9 and wearing 3-4 in. heels, this just wouldn’t be possible on the red carpet.

However, Cruise is also a fan of stairs because they give him an advantage and allow him to position himself higher than his wife.

 

I think Mr. Cruise has a bit of a conflicting issue. He keeps winding up with women that are taller than him, yet he evidently has a lot of insecurities when it comes to his height.

Tom Cruise should either a) find a woman who would have to get on her tippy-toes to kiss him, or b) stop caring so much about his image and just embrace his shortness, because at this point, there’s not much he can do about it.

However, I can understand where his insecurities come from when fans question his ability to take on a character who is supposed to be much taller. When you’re constantly in the spotlight, people are going to find something to criticize you about.

The criticism won’t stop him though as Cruise explains “Lee told me that the reason he wrote [Reacher] that size (6′ 5″) is because that was just one element to his character, and that opened the door to me playing him.”

He goes on to say, “This is Lee’s book and Lee’s character. Him giving me his blessing is what made me do it. If he hadn’t then I wouldn’t have done it.”

Tom Cruise as the mini- Jack Reacher in One Shot, coming the a theater near you.

 

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Oh my arching back!

My shortness doesn’t bother me so much, but there are some aspects that really just suck.

I have really bad posture and often have back pain. Sure these things are pretty common as you get older, but I believe my height has been a huge factor in these problems.

Sitting down is the worst because in most cases, I can never touch the floor, no matter where I sit. From sitting in classrooms, on trains, in restaurants, and well…pretty much everywhere, my posture has become bad. I constantly have to shift my body while sitting because my feet can’t touch the floor. I sit on my legs, cross my legs, slouch forward, and often slump down while sitting, just so I can reach the floor as I try to get comfortable. I probably look like I have ADHD because I can’t sit still, but ironically, I’m really just trying to sit in peace.

I’ve noticed that while I walk, I also hunch forward a bit because my posture has become bad because of my height and sitting incorrectly.

I’d have to spend hours walking around while balancing books on my head to try to correct it, but that would just be silly.

And with bad posture comes back pain.

I can’t start a day without twisting and turning my body until my back cracks before getting out of bed.

It would really be a blessing go be able to wake up one day and spring up out of bed, ready to go, but my body just can’t handle it anymore. I’m only 22! This isn’t acceptable!

Anyone want to be my personal chiropractor or masseuse?

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Meet the World’s Shortest Woman

Bridgette Jordan is a 22 year old woman, just like myself.

But she’s definitely more unique than I will ever be.

According to Guinness  World Records, at 2 feet and 3 in tall, Bridgette is the shortest woman in the world.

And she’s awesome.

The Illinois resident is a college student who dances and is a cheerleader as well. Bridgette, along with her younger brother Brad(38 in), were born with a condition called Majewski osteodysplastic primordial dwarfism type II. This also makes them the shortest siblings in the world.

Although Miss Jordan is a small woman, she has big beliefs.

“I believe that everyone should be confident in themselves”- Bridgette Jordan

Even though Bridgette is currently the record holder, a 2 foot teenager from India may take over the title in December, when she turns 18 and becomes a legal adult.

I hope she also stays confident in herself.

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On sale…except for you

I often find myself stopping by the supermarket…especially after I go to the gym.  I’ll spend an hour at the gym after spending 3 days motivating myself to go there and then I’ll get kicked into this mentality of  “Yeah, I’m gonna get super healthy and do this every day and eat the right things and blah blah blah(in reality i’ll be lying in bed all day until someone offers to go out to eat with me because my body is too sore to do anything else).”

But anywho

I try…for a while.

I went to Waldbaums after a gym session a few days ago and decided to pick up a few things.

As I walked through the aisles, I noticed that these Yoplait yogurt parfaits that I’ve seen my mom buy, were on sale 3 for $5. I figured I’d give them a try since my mom seems to like them and the deal was great. Except I wasn’t the only one that noticed the sale. Apparently everyone else and their moms like this stuff too.

These packs come in different varieties like 100 calorie chocolate chip packs, strawberry, blueberry, peach, etc.  I probably would have picked up 2 of the chocolate chip ones and a strawberry or 2 strawberry and a chocolate chip, but I was forced into one of each and a peach parfait. I never would have bought the peach parfait, but it was the only one that I could reach because of course, these products were on the very top shelf of the aisle and since so many were already gone, the remaining products were all the way at the back of the shelf.

I could see the better flavors still on the shelves, but because the shelf was so high up, and the remaining yogurts were so far back, I could only dream of reaching them. As you can see in the top right, the peach parfaits were right up front. I had no choice. There were no workers anywhere around for me to ask for help and most of the strangers around me weren’t so tall themselves and  I felt too awkward to ask them.

It is incredibly frustrating to know that the thing you want, is simply just too far out of your reach.

I should consider carrying around my own person collapsible  step stool.

Or maybe supermarkets shouldn’t put their shelves so damn high so that shorties don’t have to struggle for the good stuff!

I guess I’ll go and eat my peach parfait now…

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